Ethiopia, Here we come!

Last Friday we received our court date and will be in Ethiopia mid-April.  I'm not going to give any more details than that just in case you're the type who will come to my house and rob it.  Since Friday we've been looking for the best air routes to take us to meet our son, scheduling home study update visits, scheduling education phone calls, and making arrangements for our older kids for when we're out of country.  It seems weird even saying that:  out of country. 
Finally, after over a year, we're going to meet our son.  I've so enjoyed the pictures we've received after fellow-sojourners have returned from HH.  He appears to be well and even thriving.  Now it's time for Mama to check it out, herself.

Every week for my job, I publish a newsletter for the ministry department I oversee for our church.  On the 2nd page, I try to include a personal reflection.  This is what I included, today.  It has nothing to do with the adoption.  It is, however, in relation to something deeply personal that's happening in a relationship outside my family.  Namely this:  My best friend is moving away.  We've lived in Lincoln for about 10 years, and she's the best friend I've made in that time.  I adore her.  And God's moving her hours away from here.  I'm almost at the point where I can say it outload without tearing up.  Almost.  This type of writing is helping me process my emotions.  Thanks for your understanding.

Then Job stood up, tore his robe, and shaved his head. He fell to the ground and worshiped, saying:

Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
and naked I will leave this life.
The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away.
Praise the name of Yahweh. Job 1:20-21

Corrie Ten Boom said it well: Hold everything in your hands lightly, otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open.

That’s the type of quote that we can all read, nod in agreement, and say, Yes, she’s so right.  That’s the right attitude, Corrie. Way to go, Sister. 

Until it’s from us that God takes away.  Can we say it when it’s us?  Can we both tear our robes and fall to the ground in worship?   I’m amazed by Job 1:20-21.  Perhaps, however, even more amazing is Job 1:22:
Throughout all this Job did not sin or blame God for anything. 

He didn’t blame God?  The LORD took away… Job mourned; he cried; he suffered intensely… and yet Job didn’t place blame.  He worshipped. 

I did a quick search on biblegateway.com to verify this assumption, and I think it’s true:  Worship and sacrifice are VERY, VERY tied together.  When we can still worship at a point of loss, that is truly a sacrifice of praise.   

Some other really smart person said: All things belong to God, absolutely, to be given as a gift, not a claim, to be taken back without wrong. There is no talk of human 'rights.' The Lord is the sovereign owner of all, and Job rejoices in this wonderful fact.

Lenten Goal

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with goodness, goodness with knowledge, knowledge with self-control, self-control with endurance, endurance with godliness, godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.  For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they will keep you from being useless or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.  The person who lacks these things is blind and shortsighted and has forgotten the cleansing from his past sins. 2 Peter 1:5-9 (emphasis mine)

I've decided what I'm going to try to give up for Lent:  Being a selfish jerk.  I should probably give up my morning coffee, but I think that might severely limit my ability to give up the selfish-jerk thing.  Let me tell you how I came to this Lenten goal.

Dennis had scheduled, for 8:15 this morning, a guy (hereafter referred to as "Guy #1") to come do something at our house. I, of course, was the one who had to be there to meet Guy #1, but I didn’t have any contact info for Guy #1.

Here are my text messages to Dennis:

8:37:  He’s not here, yet.

9:02: 47 minutes late

(9:06:  I try to call Dennis’s cell phone.  It goes to voice mail.)

Back to texting:

9:10:  approaching angry at this point.  Can’t be held responsible for my attitude IF he ever shows up.

No response from my husband, so I changed my tactics and called his work phone.  No answer.

So I E-mailed: “Unless you’re lying in a roadside ditch, I suggest you read your texts and respond.”  Again, nothing. 

At 9:25, I gave up and left for work.

At 10:11, I get a return call from Dennis telling me “sorry,” he’d been in a meeting and when he checked his E-mail, Guy #1 had written to apologize; he’d never put the appointment on his calendar.

For over 2 hours I’d worked myself into an ulcer, and Guy #1 didn’t even know I was on planet Earth.  In those two hours, I was definitely NOT showing self control, endurance, godliness, brotherly affection or love in increasing measure. No, I was being a selfish jerk, thinking it was all about me, and doing harm only to myself. (Thankfully Guy #1 didn’t show up at 9:24.  Being an example of godliness wasn’t on my to-do list at that point.) 

If you see me in the next 40 days stomping my foot because I didn’t get my own way, feel free to hold me accountable.  However, if I have coffee in my hand, leave it alone.

Whose Journey is it, anyway?

The LORD is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack. He lets me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.  He renews my life; He leads me along the right paths
for His name’s sake. Psalm 23:1-3 (HCSB)

I often find it helpful to look at a really familiar passage of Scripture in a translation that isn’t familiar to me.  I can see it with fresh eyes.  That was true in my morning devo time, today.  Look at verse 3, above: He leads me along the right paths for His name’s sake. 
One thing that has clearly been a theme of the different studies and books I’m currently working through is that my life is intended to be for HIS glory.  I’m on this earth in February, 2012, for HIS Name’s sake, not my own. 
What a radical re-direction of thought!  You may be saying, “Well, duh, Julie.”  But for me it is a big deal because I’m taking that truth from “head knowledge” to “heart certainty.”  And it isn’t the easiest transition God has ever asked of me. 
For those of you who haven’t had first-hand experience with adoption, I’ll let you in on two secrets:

#1, Everyone has a story about someone they know who has adopted.  Sometimes it’s quite encouraging; sometimes it’s a horror story. 

#2, Everyone thinks you need to hear their story. 

Here’s what God is teaching me:  While I may get some advice that I may need in the future, I’m not supposed to take direction from the horror stories; I’m also not supposed to take direction from the encouraging stories.  I’m supposed to take direction from Him because it’s HIS glory I’m after on this journey. 

First Blog Post

So, we're adopting from Ethiopia.  What's the first thing I should do?  Create a blog, apparently. 
Actually, we're currently much further down the road than "the first thing."  We're on the waiting list for a 5-10 year old.  Adoption is a lot like a pregnancy with a really long gestational period.  The next time someone tells you they're adopting.  Look into their eyes and tell them you admire their determination.  Adoption, foreign adoption (the only kind I know about) isn't an easy process.  It involves paperwork, home study visits, large, outgoing sums of money, and for us, questions from relatives about why we would ever want to do this.  After all, we're in our mid-forties.  We're a few years from being empty-nesters.  Why would we want to go back into parenting?
Other parents who have or are currently in the adoption process don't question the "why."  They totally get it, and for them I am thankful. 
For the present, I'm not going to advertise this blog.  If you've stumbled across it, welcome, but it's not really ready for public viewing, yet.  I just wanted to get started with a place to post our thoughts and our progress.