Launching My 2nd-Born

This guy leaves for college, today.  He's attending The University of Nebraska-Kearney, majoring in computer "stuff." He'll live in a dorm room with a guy he's never met before. He'll start every school day with an 8 a.m. calculus class. He's joining a frat. He knows one person on his dorm floor and another couple in the entire school. He was up by 7:45 a.m. this morning after sleeping most of the morning away for the rest of the summer. He's excited. I'm excited for him.  It's time.

Graduation. Thank you, Pinterest!

Last Sunday, Chase graduated from high school.  That could be a blog post all on its own. Decorum at graduations has gone WAY downhill.  And I'm not talking about the kids. Come on, parents. Air horns and cowbells?  Enough about that, for now.  This post is actually about the ideas I grabbed from Pinterest and used through the week leading up to "the big day." This will also give my far-away friends an idea of what his grad party was like.

The above photo was the first Pinterest idea I incorporated.  Chase is holding his preschool graduation picture.

Three things were sources of the most comments at the party: 1. the potato casserole (Thanks to Hy-Vee catering!); 2. the popcorn (I'll comment on that later.) and 3. The Oreo Cake.

This was SO simple, and SO much less-expensive than buying a cake or decorated cupcakes.  I stacked Oreos until it was the desired height, then used canned frosting to adhere the number candles to the top. I used Mint Oreos for the middle layers as green/silver are LSW school colors. I made it the day before, and CAREFULLY placed it on the kitchen counter, covered with a large trash bag.  I had two large bowls of Oreos on our serving table, and only a few people removed cookies from the actual cake.  I would have been mortified if it had toppled mid-party.

This photo collage came from an idea I found on Pinterest, but we made it our own.  We found a wooden screen door on clearance at our local home improvement big box store ($7.25), stripped the screen off, spray painted the frame, replaced the screen with chicken wire (which my husband stapled on the back), covered the stapled edge with cute Washi tape, and my daughter arranged the photos onto the board using tiny, wooden clothes pins (also found at a local big box store).  This is probably my favorite idea from the party.

Our front entry table looked like this.  See the banner that says "cards?" That is a chalkboard canvas I bought at the Haymarket Farmer's Market.  

Our computer table held the guest book (Chase's copy of Chicka-Chicka Boom Boom), assorted photos, and a slideshow running on the computer screen.

I wish I had a better picture of this idea.  I bought canning jars in three sizes, put a photo and a battery-powered tea light in each, and arranged the throughout the house, porch, and deck.

Chase has requested Raising Canes' chicken strips/sauce, and I also had potato casserole and fruit. None of that makes for exciting pictures, however.  So, my last grad party picture shows how the dessert table was set up.  I borrowed the "big bowl" from our children's ministry department at church.  The "big bowl" is legendary. It is huge (Those are 5X7 photo frames.), and so much fun to have on the table.  A few months ago, I was introduced to the Perfection Mix of popcorn at We B Poppin', and it ruined me for all other brands of gourmet popcorn.  If you live in Lincoln, you should head there. Now. It's at 14th and Pine Lake, across the street from LSW.  Just handy enough to be very dangerous!

I had 5X7's of his class pictures on different levels.  I used unopened reams of copy paper to provide a stable base for the Oreo cake, etc.

We had a great time, had way too much food left over... "luckily" Whitney as having 22 girls spend the night on Friday.  What was I thinking scheduling both those events, 24-hours apart???

Some of our gorgeous 2014/15 Ambience girlies

Christmas Pictures

The actual family Christmas picture

The rejected, but closer-to-the-truth family Christmas picture

Christmas is two weeks from yesterday.  I'm working hard this year at being spiritually and emotionally ready, but that doesn't make me "gift prepared." 
Whitney and Chase each want one, specific thing.  Both have asked for reasonable, useable things, but they aren't cheap things, naturally!  Dennis and I have talked about not buying for each other and being frugal with Daniel, who won't notice, anyway.  He'll be thrilled with the used WWE X-Box 360 games that are already wrapped and under the tree.  (Don't tell!)
Sunday night is our church Children's Christmas program.  Daniel has practice Saturday morning at 10:30.  He helped me write that on our kitchen message board so we wouldn't forget.  Forgetting isn't likely as he has told me "Saturday at 10:30" once a day for about a week.  The Christmas program is one of my favorite parts of Christmas.  Our church does a great job of letting the kids know that God has wired them with gifts and talents that build the church, and this is one way to use those gifts to shine a light on Jesus.  Plus, who doesn't love little girls in frilly, twirly dresses and little boys in ties and shiny shoes??? 

Birthday Boy

It's this guy's 8th birthday on Saturday.  He's just a little excited.  He begins each morning by counting from "today" until Saturday just to make sure he knows exactly how many days it is until his birthday. 
Last year he didn't really get the concept of celebrating a birthday.  That wasn't part of his past experience.  We went to the Ethiopian restaurant here in Lincoln, had a cake, and kept the day pretty low-key. 
Since then he's been invited to several birthday parties, so he has a better understanding of how things could be done.  He went back and forth on whether or not he wanted a party.  In the end, he decided to take one friend to Omaha to The Amazing Pizza Machine.  Sort of a "mini-party." 

Fall

October is my favorite month of the year.  This year it has come with a little bit of this:

We jumped off the cliff into the world of team sports.  I use the cliff analogy because it's a move from which it is difficult to back away.  We did begin with a relatively small step: YMCA Micro Soccer - a 25-minute practice followed by a 25-minute game, all on the same day. 
Daniel thoroughly enjoyed his soccer team experience.  He found it strange that everyone got a medal, but I think a lot of people find that strange, so he's in good company.
Fall has also come with a little bit of this:

Hayden (dead center) is in his fourth year on the UNL drumline.  This year he is the cymbal rank leader, and boy, can I see his influence in their drill.  You kind of have to see it to understand.

And some of this:

Whitney decided to go "all in" on the homecoming dress, pictures and dinner while foregoing the drama of the dance. 


I wish I could include a picture of Chase's college planning, but that isn't quite as photograph-able, is it?  Currently he's thinking computer programming.  He's re-taking the ACT next Saturday.

It's been since May that I last posted.  I guess that's because we're motoring along busily, as most people I know, and also with a sense of "normal" that doesn't seem very blog-worthy.  Normal can be very, very good!

Re-Adoption

Yesterday Hayden, Dennis, Daniel and I went to the Lancaster County Courthouse (Nebraska; not Pennsylvania) to appear before a judge to finalize in the U.S. our adoption of Daniel.  At the same time, we officially changed his name from the Ethiopian Court-ordered "Daniel Dennis Florom" to our choice of  "Daniel Tarik Florom." Picking a middle name was a months-long process.  We settled on Tarik after considering and discarding several other options.  Tarik means History, and is a form of Tariku, which means He has a story to tell.  We thought this was appropriate since he lived the first 7 years of his life in Ethiopia.  He definitely has a story to tell.  Sometimes he's in the mood to give us large glimpses of his life in Abi Adi.  Last week he told me he could pretty much sleep wherever he wanted to as long as it wasn't in the place where they parked the cars because the guy who guards that will hit you with a baseball bat.
At other times he acts like he doesn't remember a thing.  Storytelling is on his terms.
As he grows, I hope his story will include us, a family that dearly loves him and loves getting to know him, and also Jesus who knows his story from beginning to end. 

Early Spring Happenings

 Daniel celebrated his first Easter in America.  This picture sums up his cousin's and his thoughts on waiting for the little kids to hunt for eggs.  Once egg hunting began for these two, they perked up.

 Easter, for decades, has been a huge event in my family.  On the weekend we celebrate Christ's amazing, demonstrating-the-power-of-God resurrection, the Lackey clan gets together, and we do it right.  We've gone through two generations of Easter egg-hunting kids.  Now my kids are the hiders along with their grandparents.
Years ago dad began something that he may wish he hadn't.  He organizes and writes the clues for a scavenger hunt on the property of wherever we're celebrating.  He divides the family into three teams, dividing spouses and same-family adult children. (This year my team was Tyler, Chase, and we threw in Daniel, too.) We run, as a team, around the property collecting clues, this year nine clues.  Then we sort the clues to spell out a phrase. (This year: Empty Tomb)  The team that does it first wins the biggest prize and so on in descending value.  We act like kids and love it.  I hope my parents are able to help us celebrate Easter for years to come.

This is Daniel in farmer gear.  At the end of the farm unit in kindergarten, they were asked to dress like a farmer for show & tell.  Note also his new watch which he bought with his own money.  Daniel is funny about dressing up for school. We noticed this on Book Parade day, also.  He doesn't want to be the only one dressed up.  He asked if his hat would fit in his backpack, you know, just in case.

Ahh, prom.  Whit, never one to miss a photo opportunity, dressed up a little to have some pictures with Chase.

Elvis Sighting

I went to Elvis’s funeral on Monday. Probably not really, but you never know…

I actually went to Randy Levering’s funeral.  Randy and his wife Judy have been attending our church and the Masterpiece (adults with special needs) Sunday School class.  We see them in 2nd service; Randy and Judy were both in wheel chairs.  Randy loved to dress up as Elvis.  He brought scarves that he gave to children; sometimes he even wore a wig.  He made me smile about as much as does the stretch limo with steer horns that brings this special group of people to our building each Sunday morning.  Randy knew he was dying from the first day he started attending.  But I never saw him without a smile on his face.  From the reports of those who spoke at his funeral, I think this was his usual demeanor.  They spoke of a man who pushed Judy all over town in her wheelchair.  He had a 3-wheeled bike that he put a 3-person seat on so that he, Judy and their son could ride together. 

If you attend First Free and you haven’t already, I urge you to make it a regular practice to talk to “the guys” and Judy.  They fill our Worship Center with contagious joy that we didn’t even know we were missing before they came, but now I can’t imagine life without it. 

I was convicted by James 2 this morning.  The beginning of this chapter talks about showing favoritism based on how someone is dressed—social/economic differences.  We all notice differences, but in the church, we should see them as opportunities to get a little bit of heaven here on earth.  We think the USA is a melting pot?  Wait till we get to heaven! We’ll be floored by the beautiful uniqueness we see as well as the unity.

And Elvis is waiting for us.

 

Brilliant Thoughts

A few days ago I had some brilliant thoughts for a blog post.  Alas, however; I fell asleep and all is lost. 
This is Spring Break for LPS, and the weather is totally bi-polar.  We received about 6 inches of snow on Sunday, and it's supposed to be 70's on Friday.  I suppose that's the definition of spring.
We're at the nine-month home point with Daniel.  He's doing great.  This morning I told him it was "Dance While You Brush Your Teeth Tuesday."  He said, "Really?" in a less-than-convinced voice.  He's already learned to doubt a lot of what I say, so he definitely fits in with our family.  He did, however, spin in circles while he brushed.
A few weeks ago he told Dennis that he's scared to say, "I love you" to us.  I wonder if anyone else out there in adoption world can relate to that.  We keep saying it and trust that he will eventually internalize his safety in our family. 
He continues to make amazing strides in language and is doing great in school.  He's taking swimming lessons this week but says he won't go into the deep end until he's bigger.  It's always wise to know your limitations.

The Bible

The following is from my weekly newsletter for the Connecting Ministries team at our church.)

“Phew! That was close one!” 

As I shared on Facebook this week, that was Daniel’s response to the Abraham/Isaac sacrifice scene in the History Channel’s miniseries, “The Bible.”

I love his fresh perspective on this old story.  As he was watching, he would recount the details that he remembered from hearing the story in Sunday School or reading it in his Bible.  The next morning, he sat down with his picture Bible to see how many of the stories he could find.  He even said he had a dream about the angels (who came to Lot).

My reaction was more, not critical, but with a critic’s eye, maybe?  For example, I noticed in the Israelites fleeing Egypt scene that there weren’t nearly enough people in the Israelite camp (They were short about a million.).  Why did they include the story of Lot and not the story of Joseph?  Overall, I thought it was well-done and am looking forward to future weeks.

On the drive to work this morning, I wondered what it would have looked like if we actually had video footage of the biblical scenes.  I’m not one of those people who thinks heaven is going to have some cosmic movie screen, but I do think we’ll have opportunity for hearing stories from all parts of history.  Why?  Because they bring glory to the One who created everything; parted seas; spoke in whispers; brought fire from heaven; gave children to the childless, and on and on it will go.

This Sunday Ricky will challenge us to see that God’s goal is to reach people and we are the vehicle He is using in the current age.  Guess what.  If our neighbors are going to hear about Christ, someone is going to have to tell them.  I’m not saying a burning bush couldn’t appear in their yard, but I’m also not saying it’s likely. 

Because my current world is pretty Christian-centric, I’m challenging myself to develop more relationships with people who don’t think like me.  This week I started a beginning knitting class (much to my 14-year old’s horror).  I didn’t have a chance to do much more than introduce myself; I was too busy concentrating on the brand new method of knitting that I was being asked to learn.  But I hope I can use this as a way to just meet some people and be available to see what the Spirit would have me do with that.   If you live in a pretty small world, too, I encourage you to think creatively about how you also might broaden it.

Show Choir Season

Midwest Cup//That's What's Up

It's show choir season.  Chase's choir, "Resonance" competed last Saturday in the Midwest Cup at the University of Nebraska here in Lincoln.  We have this Saturday off, then we have or host competitions every Saturday through the end of February. Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.  I'm a wear school colors and a button with my son's picture on it-kind of mom.  We spent about 14 hours at the competition last weekend.  We came away with 3rd place and debuted a ballad that, quite literally, brought people to tears.  It's going to be a good year... if Chase can be a good sport!  Show Choir is an area where you can tell if even one or two people haven't put in the time in rehearsal.  When you get a group of choirs that are all within shooting distance of the Grand Champion title, you can't say, "Well, we deserve this because we work hard." or "We want it more!" They all work hard and they all want it, and they're all leaving it all out there on the stage.  So, show choir turns out to be a good place to learn life lessons like saying "congratulations" when someone else is walking away with the 6-ft trophy that you really wanted, OR smiling when they have to stop you in the middle of your show because the microphones aren't working.  It's a place where you join with hundreds of others in singing "Hey, Baby" and "Sweet Caroline" just because you have a few minutes to kill, and you know that everyone will want to join in singing.  It's a place where alumni of the group come to cheer this year's group, and moms from different choirs share stories of the costs involved in having multiple kids in show choir.  I call it the "Show Choir Universe" because it's a world all unto itself.  And, I love it.  Here we go.

Revisiting December

Here are a few of my favorite shots from December. 

 We enjoyed an evening hosted by a good friend for her Christmas album release.  Note to self:  Have a professional photographer at any future gathering.

Hayden and Julia pose after the football season wrap-up concert.  Or should I say, marching band season wrap-up concert.

 Daniel was thrilled by our first big snowfall, but I don't think he realized just how cold it could be outside. Once we had him outfitted in snow pants and boots, he ventured out. A few days later, however, he told me that he liked it better when it was warm. Snow is one thing, but he's missing out on a lot of neighborhood football games.

 We celebrated Christmas at my sister's house and Isaac was able to come home from Denver.  Here he's taking Daniel and Madyson through the "Food Network" magazine.  Later he impressed us with one of his own dessert creations.

A moment of peace and love between brother and sister on Christmas morning.  As Whit commented, "We really do love each other."
This has actually been a really cool thing about Whit being in high school.  We've seen a closeness develop between her and Chase. 
Next week we move into "Show Choir Mode" as the season kicks off with a competiton here in Lincoln.  I LOVE show choir season.  It will pass too quickly.  I take my knitting bag and settle in for a full day of watching choir after choir. 
I guess I have nothing deep to share today.  We've settled into a new normal since Daniel's arrival six months ago.  That, in itself, seems like a huge accomplishment.

Okay, Fine Lisa Gard!

So, my bff noticed that I hadn't posted since September.  A lot has happened since then, but blogging... not so much.  We did manage to get the entire family into the same photo during our Thanksgiving celebration.  This will also be on our Christmas card since all six of us in the same room is a rarity.  That is quite sad, actually.  Daniel's arrival and the busyness that has surrounded that has taken some of the sting out of Hayden's move out of the house.  (His laundry still shows up once a week, so there's that...)

Thanksgiving weekend we also had THIS going on.

Which, of course, meant we were eating THIS.  For the non-Ethiopian food-educated among us, that is a very traditional meal.  We are blessed to have the African Restaurant in Lincoln.  They make food that Daniel simply loves.  It's all about presentation, wouldn't you agree?

Our boy turned seven. It was interesting to see a birthday through his eyes.  Approaching the birthday, he asked questions like, "Who blows out the candles?" The owner of the above-mentioned restaurant said that birthdays aren't celebrated in Ethiopia.  They might be casually mentioned, but not celebrated.  Because Daniel had no expectations, he was thrilled with the day.  We kept it intentionally low-key.  The day before had been Thanksgiving with its hype, food, crowd, etc.  On his birthday, he opened his gifts (A #3 Husker jersey was a big hit.), watched the Big Red beat Iowa, played football with his neighbors, went to eat Ethiopian food, and ate cake.  Happy Birthday, Daniel.

Daniel's six-month-home mark will be December 15.  It's amazing how quickly the time has gone and yet how much a part of our family he has become.

Okay, Lisa.  There it is.

Sometimes You Have to be a Bad Parent to be a Good Parent

This morning was one of those mornings.  The mornings that I just know I'm being judged and found wanting by Daniel's teacher and the other adults that saw Daniel at school.

It began with me being in the lead in the board game we were playing before school.  Daniel and I were the only ones home.  He won the first game by a large margin.  I was leading the second game, so Daniel decided to stop trying.  Then he decided to stop playing all together.  I put the game away.  Then, when I wasn't looking, he hid his glasses.  After I won that short battle of wills, we started getting ready to walk out the door for school.

I asked him if he wanted to go outside and see if he needed a jacket.  

"No jacket."

"It's chilly; you might want to check."

"No jacket."

"Okay, well how about I put your jacket in your backpack just in case you change your mind later."

"No.  No jacket to school."

So, we went to school without any jacket.  As we approached the drop-off area, I mentioned to Daniel that everyone was wearing jackets.  He looked at me with very wide eyes.  Possibly considering for the first time that his punishing me for winning the board game might come back to haunt him.

"Bye Daniel.  Have a good day at school.  I love you."

What did his teacher think when he showed up in 50-degree weather without a jacket?  I'll never know as I hope to refrain from defending myself at Parent/Teacher Conferences in a few weeks.  We'll see if I can win that internal battle of wills.  

I would much rather that Daniel win this battle today when it's 50 degrees if it allows me to win the war when it's 30 degrees.  I'll keep you posted.

Daniel, Chase and Cleo

With Uncle Brian at Rachel's wedding.  Daniel was very impressed with both the Chinese buffet and the candy.

 

Cousins.  Yep, family gatherings are going to be very interesting for awhile.

9 Weeks Home

Daniel and Mrs. Olsen

 

Daniel and Uncle Brian

Daniel has been home 9 weeks, and one of the things I've learned is that I'm not a very good blogger.  I often think about doing it, but don't seem to actually sit down and do it!
Overall, everything about our transition is going very well.  We're still struggling with his pouting, but we always remind ourselves that pouting is much better than a tantrum.
Daniel started school on Tuesday.  We started with about 2 hours and 15 minutes/day.  On Friday, we let him stay all day.  Due to various doctors appointments next week, he will miss Monday and Thursday, but we'll probably go all day the other three days.  He really likes it, so far.  I wish the excitement he feels for school now could last a LONG time.

Home One Month. How did we celebrate?

What Daniel will most-likely recall about recent days, unfortunately, probably isn't the fun birthday party of my great-niece and great-nephew. He'll probably remember his first visit to the doctor. Six "sticks" tend to stick in the mind of a six-year old. He's about in the 10th percentile for both height and weight, but the pediatrician was quick to point out that the scale is based on American and western European norms. His TB skin test will be read tomorrow, but he sent us for a chest X-ray, anyway. Oh, did I forget to mention that I get to collect three consecutive stool samples? Good times. Another favorite of mine is how the nurse (probably is required to)treats us like newbie parents and reads page after page of diet, exercise and safety guidelines. Yep. Good times. Daniel was exhausted by bed time. I could relate. The good news? He takes liquid Advil like a trooper.

3 Weeks Home - And Hayden has Arrived!

Daniel has been in Nebraska three weeks.  In some ways it's gone super-fast, but it also seems like he's been part of our family forever.  Hayden left for a Brazil outreach trip the day before Daniel got home from Ethiopia.  Yesterday was the first time they had met.

 Here they are bonding over "Curious George."

 Daniel really enjoyed the Independence Day fireworks.

 These two are of Daniel scootering in the driveway.  He has worked hard to master this skill!  He doesn't argue about the helmet anymore, either.

 Finally, we're all together!

We sort of have a "waiting for the other shoe to fall" feeling because the three weeks have gone so incredibly well.  His pouting has lessened but not disappeared completely.  He still sleeps and eats well.  In fact, if his mood is out-of-whack, food is usually what he needs.
We have an appointment with the eye surgeon at the end of July.  Our regular eye guy says surgery will be necessary.  I'm almost relieved.  Fighting the finding and wearing of glasses... not sure how that would go.
His language continues to expand daily.  He can put together a short sentence and seems to understand and respond to a lot of what we say.  That's pretty cool!

"So Good!"

"So good!"  These were Daniel's words, repeated several times, as he was eating at The African Restaurant here in Lincoln.  The above picture is him going at the left-overs the next day.

One Week at Home

Last evening marked the one week point of having Daniel at home in Nebraska.  Every day has been filled with numerous blessings, lots of laughter, new discoveries, and a rough spot or two.  Overall, we've had a solidly good week.
Yesterday was the toughest day we've had, so far.  But even that was very do-able because #1 - it wasn't constantly rough, and #2 - he's such a good sleeper at night that we are all physically able to handle the day.
I believe at the root of the issue was that there was someone new in the house for a good portion of the day.  Every other Friday my parents drive from Kearney to Lincoln so my father can do his chaplain work in the prisons in Lincoln.  From 8 a.m. to about 3:30 p.m., my mom hangs out here at the house.  This was the first time Daniel had met Grandma, and he was off his game from the beginning.  He had more of what we refer to as "pouting" than other days.  He warmed up to Grandma, showing her photos, looking at books, etc. But even after my parents left, the pouts continued. 
The complete melt-down came later in the evening.  Dennis had heard Daniel say "ice cream" when pointing to a picture of ice cream in one of the airports during travel.  We asked Daniel if he wanted to go get some ice cream.  He was excited to go, but when we got to Sonic and the ice cream arrived, it apparently wasn't what he thought it was going to be (soft serve instead of hard packed? with hot fudge instead of plain?).  We couldn't convince him to even try one bite.
He began whimpering on the drive home.  By shower time it was a full-on cry, only the 2nd time he's cried since he's been here.  After his shower, I took him out to the deck and just held and rocked him for a time, all nestled under a blanket.  Dennis came out to sit with us, and our cat, Cleo, jumped up on Dennis.  Cleo and Dennis began to play, and soon Daniel was laughing again.
I thought it wonderful that we were able to end the day in a good mood. 

What did we learn, today? 1. Hard boiled eggs are a favorite of Daniel's, even day after day. I thought scrambled eggs would be a sure-fire winner. I was wrong. Steel-cut oatmeal is also a "no." 2. Young ducks can be rather demanding of your attention when you're looking the other way. Both Daniel and I got "billed" at the pond this morning. Thankfully, it was painless. 3. Peanut butter and jelly can quickly turn around a rough lunch experience. 4. Peanut butter and jelly can quickly turn around a rough snack experience, too. 5. Daniel knows where to find the bread to show Mommy, unmistakenly, that a pb&j should happen, soon. 6. Mommy still really enjoys Legos. Best toys ever. 7. Water pistols are good. Running through the sprinkler is a "not yet" experience. 8. My 46- year old body is going to have to get used to sitting on the floor, a lot. 9. Chutes and Ladders can take quite a long time. 10. Daddy getting home from work is a good thing.