"So Good!"

"So good!"  These were Daniel's words, repeated several times, as he was eating at The African Restaurant here in Lincoln.  The above picture is him going at the left-overs the next day.

One Week at Home

Last evening marked the one week point of having Daniel at home in Nebraska.  Every day has been filled with numerous blessings, lots of laughter, new discoveries, and a rough spot or two.  Overall, we've had a solidly good week.
Yesterday was the toughest day we've had, so far.  But even that was very do-able because #1 - it wasn't constantly rough, and #2 - he's such a good sleeper at night that we are all physically able to handle the day.
I believe at the root of the issue was that there was someone new in the house for a good portion of the day.  Every other Friday my parents drive from Kearney to Lincoln so my father can do his chaplain work in the prisons in Lincoln.  From 8 a.m. to about 3:30 p.m., my mom hangs out here at the house.  This was the first time Daniel had met Grandma, and he was off his game from the beginning.  He had more of what we refer to as "pouting" than other days.  He warmed up to Grandma, showing her photos, looking at books, etc. But even after my parents left, the pouts continued. 
The complete melt-down came later in the evening.  Dennis had heard Daniel say "ice cream" when pointing to a picture of ice cream in one of the airports during travel.  We asked Daniel if he wanted to go get some ice cream.  He was excited to go, but when we got to Sonic and the ice cream arrived, it apparently wasn't what he thought it was going to be (soft serve instead of hard packed? with hot fudge instead of plain?).  We couldn't convince him to even try one bite.
He began whimpering on the drive home.  By shower time it was a full-on cry, only the 2nd time he's cried since he's been here.  After his shower, I took him out to the deck and just held and rocked him for a time, all nestled under a blanket.  Dennis came out to sit with us, and our cat, Cleo, jumped up on Dennis.  Cleo and Dennis began to play, and soon Daniel was laughing again.
I thought it wonderful that we were able to end the day in a good mood. 

What did we learn, today? 1. Hard boiled eggs are a favorite of Daniel's, even day after day. I thought scrambled eggs would be a sure-fire winner. I was wrong. Steel-cut oatmeal is also a "no." 2. Young ducks can be rather demanding of your attention when you're looking the other way. Both Daniel and I got "billed" at the pond this morning. Thankfully, it was painless. 3. Peanut butter and jelly can quickly turn around a rough lunch experience. 4. Peanut butter and jelly can quickly turn around a rough snack experience, too. 5. Daniel knows where to find the bread to show Mommy, unmistakenly, that a pb&j should happen, soon. 6. Mommy still really enjoys Legos. Best toys ever. 7. Water pistols are good. Running through the sprinkler is a "not yet" experience. 8. My 46- year old body is going to have to get used to sitting on the floor, a lot. 9. Chutes and Ladders can take quite a long time. 10. Daddy getting home from work is a good thing.

One more day... Or maybe two

On Tuesday the U.S. Embassy in Addis Ababa put Daniel securely and forever into our family. He'll be in Nebraska Friday afternoon. I heard him laughing during our Skype conversation, yesterday. That's one of the many things I'm looking forward to hearing again in person. Today will be a long day for them, and probably too short a day in my world. They don't leave Addis until about 10:00 tonight and have a 17 hour non-stop flight ahead of them. Then two flights will get them here from D.C. I'll be getting my boys prepped and ready for their mission trips to Brazil (Hayden) and Mexico (Chase). I also need to do some grocery shopping to prepare for Daniel's home coming. Dennis says he'll eat almost anything, so my anxiety about that is lessening. This was one of the verses from my devotion, today: the Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore, I have continued to extend faithful love to you. (Jeremiah 31:3 HCSB) We have definitely felt God's everlasting love during our adoption journey.

Anxiety vs. Faithfulness

Yesterday when Dennis and I were on our evening walk, he asked me what my first thought is when I think about having our 6-year old home is two-ish weeks. My first words were, "Sometimes I feel so old." Do I have the energy to give what a 6-year old boy needs? My "Jesus Calling" Devo this morning includes this: "When the path before you is dotted with difficulties, beware of measuring your strength against those challenges. That calculation is certain to riddle you with anxiety. Without Me, you wouldn't make it past the first hurdle!" My anxiety is really arrogance that there's any scenario in which I would be able to parent my children without God beside me and His Spirit within me.

Almost ready!  Yesterday I added D's name above the window and brought Lego's - LOTS of Lego's - into his room.  Dennis moved his treadmill out of D's room and into our room.  This will mean he will be working out in the morning when I may or may not still be trying to sleep.  Just another incentive to get up and moving, I guess!  As I previously wrote, D's birth father's appointment at the US Embassy is Tuesday morning.  It will likely be over before we get out of bed, and I might even have an E-mail waiting for me in my inbox.  For 16-months we've been waiting, and he will probably be home in less than two weeks.  God is continuing to be SO faithful to me.  Whenever I start to worry about post-adoption depression or bonding or attachment or whether or not I should travel or if we need to buy D more clothes or if I should be out of the country when my boys are also out of the country... God gives me a gift.  Last night it was a dream about D.  This morning it was a devotion from "Jesus Calling."  There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment.  so the one who fears has not reached perfection in love.  1 John 4:17-19   
When excitement is replaced with anxiety, I know my mind is focusing on the wrong thing.  My role is to see what God has prepared for me to do this day, this moment, not to project myself into a future that God has already taken control of.  That's difficult but at the same time, freeing.