Lenten Goal

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with goodness, goodness with knowledge, knowledge with self-control, self-control with endurance, endurance with godliness, godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.  For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they will keep you from being useless or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.  The person who lacks these things is blind and shortsighted and has forgotten the cleansing from his past sins. 2 Peter 1:5-9 (emphasis mine)

I've decided what I'm going to try to give up for Lent:  Being a selfish jerk.  I should probably give up my morning coffee, but I think that might severely limit my ability to give up the selfish-jerk thing.  Let me tell you how I came to this Lenten goal.

Dennis had scheduled, for 8:15 this morning, a guy (hereafter referred to as "Guy #1") to come do something at our house. I, of course, was the one who had to be there to meet Guy #1, but I didn’t have any contact info for Guy #1.

Here are my text messages to Dennis:

8:37:  He’s not here, yet.

9:02: 47 minutes late

(9:06:  I try to call Dennis’s cell phone.  It goes to voice mail.)

Back to texting:

9:10:  approaching angry at this point.  Can’t be held responsible for my attitude IF he ever shows up.

No response from my husband, so I changed my tactics and called his work phone.  No answer.

So I E-mailed: “Unless you’re lying in a roadside ditch, I suggest you read your texts and respond.”  Again, nothing. 

At 9:25, I gave up and left for work.

At 10:11, I get a return call from Dennis telling me “sorry,” he’d been in a meeting and when he checked his E-mail, Guy #1 had written to apologize; he’d never put the appointment on his calendar.

For over 2 hours I’d worked myself into an ulcer, and Guy #1 didn’t even know I was on planet Earth.  In those two hours, I was definitely NOT showing self control, endurance, godliness, brotherly affection or love in increasing measure. No, I was being a selfish jerk, thinking it was all about me, and doing harm only to myself. (Thankfully Guy #1 didn’t show up at 9:24.  Being an example of godliness wasn’t on my to-do list at that point.) 

If you see me in the next 40 days stomping my foot because I didn’t get my own way, feel free to hold me accountable.  However, if I have coffee in my hand, leave it alone.

Whose Journey is it, anyway?

The LORD is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack. He lets me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.  He renews my life; He leads me along the right paths
for His name’s sake. Psalm 23:1-3 (HCSB)

I often find it helpful to look at a really familiar passage of Scripture in a translation that isn’t familiar to me.  I can see it with fresh eyes.  That was true in my morning devo time, today.  Look at verse 3, above: He leads me along the right paths for His name’s sake. 
One thing that has clearly been a theme of the different studies and books I’m currently working through is that my life is intended to be for HIS glory.  I’m on this earth in February, 2012, for HIS Name’s sake, not my own. 
What a radical re-direction of thought!  You may be saying, “Well, duh, Julie.”  But for me it is a big deal because I’m taking that truth from “head knowledge” to “heart certainty.”  And it isn’t the easiest transition God has ever asked of me. 
For those of you who haven’t had first-hand experience with adoption, I’ll let you in on two secrets:

#1, Everyone has a story about someone they know who has adopted.  Sometimes it’s quite encouraging; sometimes it’s a horror story. 

#2, Everyone thinks you need to hear their story. 

Here’s what God is teaching me:  While I may get some advice that I may need in the future, I’m not supposed to take direction from the horror stories; I’m also not supposed to take direction from the encouraging stories.  I’m supposed to take direction from Him because it’s HIS glory I’m after on this journey.